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Why you should keep sex out of the water

It’s dark outside; the water is warm; you both are barely clothed. Seems like the perfect time to start fooling around, right? Well, water sex might sound appealing at first, but when it comes time to actually doing it, complications start to emerge.

Having sex in water could give rise to infections and underwhelming sensations that overall make the entire experience not worth the trouble. One of the biggest misconceptions about water sex is that, even though the outside of your body is wet, your sex organ aren’t. The water washes away the natural lubrication your body creates, which can make the sexual experience VERY painful. Yes, lubricant can work, but only the water-friendly kinds. This rules out oil-based and water-based lubricant, because oil-based can damage condoms, and water-based will wash away too quickly during the moment. So here are some types of water sex, as well as reasons why they probably shouldn’t occur:

Shower Sex – Shower sex is the most common version of water sex and has been popularized by TV shows and movies that depict the sex just as hot and steamy as the water itself. Unfortunately, reality tends to differ a lot from TV shows and movies. Let’s think about the logistics: First, how many people own showers that are big enough for two adults to comfortably move around in? Trying to have a romantic moment while constantly being squished against a wall, corner, or knob tends to ruin the moment. Also, it’s hard to have a good footing on a slick, watery surface. Slipping and falling is a serious risk, and so having sex in the shower ends up being a safety hazard to both yourself and your partner.

Ocean/River/Lake Sex – Now, one plus side of shower sex is that you and your partner are mostly likely alone in the shower. But, with ocean/river/lake sex, you aren’t in your natural habitat. In fact, you are a place inhabited by millions, billions, and even trillions of fish, for which not all are friendly, and that’s not all. Oceans contain sharks, rapid currents, and (unfortunately) trash. Rivers contain snapping turtles, piranhas, and kayakers, who might not be so friendly after seeing you and your partner fornicating in the waters. Lakes are the least dangerous of the three, but they still are inhabited by fish, plants, and rocks that can be very painful if scratched against. Just stay clear of bodies of water (and that doesn’t mean moving the sex to the beach, because that causes just as many problems).

Pool Sex – Sex in a pool includes all the cons that shower sex has and more. The chlorine in the pool can seriously irritate the vulva, making it red, swollen, itchy, and sometimes burn. If you choose to have sex in a pool that’s not chlorinated, there is a greater risk of a bladder infection because of all the dirty microbes. (The chances are even worse when in a hot tub).

Hot Tub – Speaking of the hot tub… They’re warm and can help set a romantic scene, so what’s not to like? Well, actually, a lot of things. Hot tub sex increases the chance of contracting an UTI, STD, a rash, and unplanned pregnancies (not because sperm travel through the water, but because the chemicals can mess with the effectiveness of latex, as well as make condoms harder to keep on).

So, to summarize what’s been said: some things on TV just don’t work out in reality. Sure, you can try to have sex in your pool, hot tub, or shower, and it might even be successful for you and your partner. But, just remember that those chances are very slim and it might be better to begin foreplay in the water and then move up to the bed room when you both are ready.

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